Momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my momma said.

It has been a completely beautiful day. One that has been full but not overwhelming, the weather was perfect and everyone seemed like the world was flowing in their favor.  We had lots of phone calls and even a few visitors.  Supper was done early and the kitchen was cleaned before dark.  Then the sun went down, the phone calls stopped, no one stopped by and tv shows took over. The longer the tv was on the more tension filled the air.  Now I am sitting here trying to decide if I am gonna even address the issues going on tonight.  Why is it when things seem to be going the smoothest is when the explosions happen, the flashbacks and triggers are rampant? The irrational adrenaline rush kicks in and we are in a full battle with PTSD.  How is it that even after ten years we are still having this struggle? Why is it that he cannot just choose us and push that knee jerk reaction aside? I have come to realize it is because in a PTSD meltdown he is comfortable.  Not that he likes that he is comfortable there, but until we figure out every single trigger and how to deal with each of them properly this will be our reality.  For now it is quiet again, you know the quiet where no one knows what to say.  Well for tonight we will laugh on the inside, and while PTSD may have won this battle-the war is far from over!